Post ya jokes, no sad ones!!!!!

y did the chicken cross the road?

to get to the other side

A man in a bar had a couple of beers, and the bartender told him he owed £4.
"But I paid, don't you remember?" said the customer.
"Okay," said the bartender. "If you say you paid, you did."
The man then went outside and told a friend that the bartender couldn't keep track of his customers' bills. The second man then rushed in and ordered a beer. When it came time to pay, he pulled the same stunt.
The barkeep replied, "If you say you paid, I'll take your word for it."
Soon the customer went into the street, saw an old friend, and told him how to get free drinks.
The man hurried into the bar and began to drink Whiskies when, suddenly, the bartender leaned over and said, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right in the nose."
"Don't bother me with your troubles," the final patron responded. "Just give me my change and I'll be on my way

englishman scotsman and an irashman jokes are they allowed?

y not

some see them as discriminating the irish

arr bless its a joke lol im sure they can take it. and if they get realy offended then they can post jokes where they substitute the irishman for an englishman lol

this has been edited slightly....

Bungee jumping - £4 per person but if your a chav you can have a go for free, no strings attached..

What do ya call 1000 nuns in a shop


VIRGIN MEGASTORE

hahahaha that 1s quality

ok then youve all probably heard this 1 but ill tell it anyway

an englishman a scottsman and an irashman come across a wishing slide they take it in turns to go down. the englishman goes down first saying money and 1000s of pounds fall on to his lap.
the scottishman goes down next saying cigrettes and 100s of cigrettes fall on to his lap.
the iraishman then goes down and as he does so he shouts weeeeeeeeee and guess what people lots of wee falls on his lap

i'm not even going to comment on that...haha


just a friendly reminder (you're all doing great so far) make sure to keep these family friendly and avoid racism! thank you for keeping this clean, its one of my fav threads

a man walks into a doctors and says he feels like a pair of curtains doctor says pull yourself together.

patient: doctor doctor i feel like a bridge
doctor: whats come over you
patient: 3 lorries 10 cars and a bus

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one
day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a
change.

"I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,"
he announced. "Will the laziest man please put his hand up."

Nine hands went up.

"Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man.

"Too much trouble," came the reply.

copyright stellaman for any pool heads reading just thought it was a good one lol

there was a fight in the chippie last night ...... the fish got battered hehe the old 1s are the best

David Beckham is celebrating; "43 days, 43 days!" he shouts happilly. Posh asks him why hes celebrating.
He answers "Well Honey, I've done this jigsaw in only 43 days."
"And that's good?" asks Posh.
"You bet Hon" says David."It says 3 to 6 years on the box."

2 blondes walking on either side of a river one blonde sees the other and asks her how do i get across to the other side of the river. the other blonde replies you are on the other side

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course", comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.

The first man responds: "That's amazing! I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round for Ireland." And they have another drink.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"

"Dublin" replies the second man.

"I can't believe it" says the first man, "I'm from Dublin also! Let's have another drink for Dublin."

So they have yet another drink.

The first man then asks: "What school did you go to?"

"Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "Class of '71."

"That's amazing!" the first man says, "I went to Saint Mary's and graduated in '71 too!"

About that time, one of the regulars comes in and asks the Bartender "What's been going on?"

"Nothing much" replies the bartender... "Except the O'Reilly twins r drunk again

A woodworm crawls into a bar, and asks "excuse me, is the bartender here?"


R