Football Jokes and Laughs
Viewing forum thread.
Back to Sports Chat.
Back to Forum List.
Deleted User
(IP Logged)
(IP Logged)
05:22 Thu 25 Jun 09 (BST) [Link]
That is good, Thanks for making me giggle
jim71190 said:
Benitez sent scouts out around the world looking for a new striker to replace Michael Owen who had gone to Newcastle.
One of the scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield.
Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on the field he goes. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.
When the lad comes off the pitch, he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football. "Hello mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won.
Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me".
"Wonderful," says his mum. "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters while you were having a great time!"
With this news, the young lad is very upset. "What can I say mum, except I'm so sorry".
"Sorry!" exclaims his mum. "It's your fault we all moved to Liverpool in the first place!"
One of the scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield.
Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on the field he goes. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.
When the lad comes off the pitch, he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football. "Hello mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won.
Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me".
"Wonderful," says his mum. "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters while you were having a great time!"
With this news, the young lad is very upset. "What can I say mum, except I'm so sorry".
"Sorry!" exclaims his mum. "It's your fault we all moved to Liverpool in the first place!"
That is good, Thanks for making me giggle
Deleted User
(IP Logged)
(IP Logged)
06:51 Thu 25 Jun 09 (BST) [Link]
Please remember that any pictures have to be child friendly. thanks.
Edited by forum moderator fastboysam, at 19:15 Thu 25/06/09 (BST)
Edited by forum moderator fastboysam, at 19:15 Thu 25/06/09 (BST)
Edited by forum moderator fastboysam, at 19:15 Thu 25/06/09 (BST)
Edited by forum moderator fastboysam, at 19:15 Thu 25/06/09 (BST)
11:09 Thu 25 Jun 09 (BST) [Link]
I find that Peter Crouch one actually quite disturbing
Deleted User
(IP Logged)
(IP Logged)
18:38 Thu 25 Jun 09 (BST) [Link]
That good that one..
___lfc___ said:
Exclusive : Liverpool Sign Bent
That good that one..
Deleted User
(IP Logged)
(IP Logged)
03:49 Fri 26 Jun 09 (BST) [Link]
What does a Liverpool fan do after watching his team win the Premiership?
Turns his Playstation off
Edited by forum moderator fastboysam, at 17:49 Fri 26/06/09 (BST)
Turns his Playstation off
Edited by forum moderator fastboysam, at 17:49 Fri 26/06/09 (BST)
Deleted User
(IP Logged)
(IP Logged)
03:50 Fri 26 Jun 09 (BST) [Link]
Half way through his hanging upside down "stunt", David Blaine has revealed what possessed him to do it. Apprently it was because his record for hanging around in a box doing nothing has been broken by Robbie Keane.
Deleted User
(IP Logged)
(IP Logged)
03:52 Fri 26 Jun 09 (BST) [Link]
any way i'll lay off of liverpool now.......
Deleted User
(IP Logged)
(IP Logged)
06:12 Fri 26 Jun 09 (BST) [Link]
Yeah lay off the liverpool ones
What do you call a Manchester United fan with half a brain?
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Man Utd. fan?
You're trapped in a room with an angry grizzly bear, a hungry Lion, and a fan of united! You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
Two blokes were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read:
"Here lies John Sweeney, a good man and a Man United fan."
So, one of them asked the other: "When the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?"
--------------
And for some one liners.
--------------
Football players are the only people who can dribble and still look neat.
A bad football team is like an old bra - no cups and little support.
Edited at 11:30 Fri 26/06/09 (BST)
What do you call a Manchester United fan with half a brain?
Gifted.
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Man Utd. fan?
Skid marks in front of the dog.
You're trapped in a room with an angry grizzly bear, a hungry Lion, and a fan of united! You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
Shoot the Utd fan…...... twice.
Two blokes were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read:
"Here lies John Sweeney, a good man and a Man United fan."
So, one of them asked the other: "When the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?"
--------------
And for some one liners.
--------------
Football players are the only people who can dribble and still look neat.
A bad football team is like an old bra - no cups and little support.
Edited at 11:30 Fri 26/06/09 (BST)
07:53 Fri 26 Jun 09 (BST) [Link]
Quasimodo asks Esmeralda, "Am I really the ugliest guy in the world?"
"Why don't you go upstairs to the Magic Mirror and ask ?" says Esmeralda.
Quasimodo goes upstairs to the mirror and returns a few minutes later.
As he hobbles in Esmeralda asks "Well, what did the mirror say ?"
To which Quasimodo replies, "Who's Gary Neville?"
"Why don't you go upstairs to the Magic Mirror and ask ?" says Esmeralda.
Quasimodo goes upstairs to the mirror and returns a few minutes later.
As he hobbles in Esmeralda asks "Well, what did the mirror say ?"
To which Quasimodo replies, "Who's Gary Neville?"
Deleted User
(IP Logged)
(IP Logged)
08:36 Fri 26 Jun 09 (BST) [Link]
Whats the difference between ferguson and Michael Jackson?
Ferguson will be playing Giggs in August.
Ferguson will be playing Giggs in August.
Deleted User
(IP Logged)
(IP Logged)
09:10 Fri 26 Jun 09 (BST) [Link]
Are you retarded? Stop quoting ya quotes
Your not Martin Luther King kiddaaaaaaaa
Your not Martin Luther King kiddaaaaaaaa
Deleted User
(IP Logged)
(IP Logged)
09:16 Fri 26 Jun 09 (BST) [Link]
LOL!
It's a 'football joke thread', it didn't contain any swear words and it's a 'joke'.
I wish people would wind there necks in and get off their high horses regarding MJ. If a moderator wants it removed, I won't hold a grudge at all :) - But it's quite strange that your the only one to have queried about it efc.
Oh and I purposely didn't post the joke, along with the_kop I imagine on the 'rip MJ' thread because that's there for solely remembering the guy.
Edited at 14:21 Fri 26/06/09 (BST)
the_kop said:
Are you retarded? Stop quoting ya quotes
Your not Martin Luther King kiddaaaaaaaa
Your not Martin Luther King kiddaaaaaaaa
LOL!
It's a 'football joke thread', it didn't contain any swear words and it's a 'joke'.
I wish people would wind there necks in and get off their high horses regarding MJ. If a moderator wants it removed, I won't hold a grudge at all :) - But it's quite strange that your the only one to have queried about it efc.
Oh and I purposely didn't post the joke, along with the_kop I imagine on the 'rip MJ' thread because that's there for solely remembering the guy.
Edited at 14:21 Fri 26/06/09 (BST)
Deleted User
(IP Logged)
(IP Logged)
09:23 Fri 26 Jun 09 (BST) [Link]
exactly.
makes me laugh though that people crack jokes about him on MSN and Facebook, but find it offensive when it suits them.
makes me laugh though that people crack jokes about him on MSN and Facebook, but find it offensive when it suits them.
| Unable to post | |
|---|---|
| Reason: | You must log in before you can post |
Football Jokes and Laughs
Back to Top of this Page
Back to Sports Chat.
Back to Forum List.