Post removed by forum moderator

keep on track please ladies and gents. anything borderline will be removed.

I thought Shearer had retired :\

Local Market has geordie brains on sale for a tenner each and mackem brains for 50p each. Asked him why Geordie brains where more expensive and he said its because they have never been used!

Sorry, No offence to geordies...


Ashley to ashes
Duff to dust

A couple in the middle of a messy divorce case find themselves in court battling over custody of little Johnny, their only child. In order to make a fair decision over the boys future, the Judge takes Johnny into his private chambers so that he can find out which of the parents the boy would prefer to live with.

"Well, Johnny" says the Judge, "Would you like to live with your Mother?"

"No" replied Johnny, "she hits me all the time"

"Well then," the Judge continues, "Would you like to live your your Father?"

"No" replied Johnny again, "He hits me all the time too!"

The Judge looks exasperated and says to the boy "Well Johnny, who would you like to live with?"

"I'd like to live with Newcastle Football Club" the boy replied quickly.

"Why on earth would you want to live with the Newcastle Football Club?" replied the now extremely puzzled Judge.

"Well" replied Johnny, "They never beat anyone"

Edited at 13:21 Sat 27/06/09 (BST)

Edit your post mike.

You have watford and then newcastle

your lying.

David Beckham is celebrating; "43 days, 43 days!" he shouts happilly. Posh asks him why hes celebrating.
He answers "Well Honey, I've done this jigsaw in only 43 days."

"And that's good?" asks Posh.
"You bet Hon" says David."It says 3 to 6 years on the box."

Dr Frankenstein releases his perfect footballing creation to the waiting world:

Emmanuel Adebayor's people have produced a brochure, similar to the one used to attract interest in Michael Owen, to help 'sell' him to other clubs.

http://www.oleole.com/media/main/podcasts/arsecast/ADE_BROCHURE.pdf

wot do u call a football accident?

Frank Sinclair!

Facebook status's etc etc

Howard Webb joins the 'Alex Ferguson Appreciation group'
Alex Ferguson likes this

Ashley Cole joined the group Lost my phone, need everyone's numbers

The Premiership is no longer friends with The North-East

Gary Neville is out for two weeks with an injury. (16 weeks ago)
Gary Neville is out for two weeks with an injury. (14 weeks ago)
Gary Neville is out for two weeks with an injury. (12 weeks ago)
Gary Neville is out for two weeks with an injury. (10 weeks ago)
Gary Neville is out for two weeks with an injury. (8 weeks ago)
Gary Neville is out for two weeks with an injury. (6 weeks ago)
Gary Neville is out for two weeks with an injury. (4 weeks ago)
Gary Neville is out for two weeks with an injury. (2 weeks ago)
- John O'shea, Rafael, Wes Brown likes this

Mark Hughes is playing Football Manager

The Best fans in the world Joined the group 'we love newcastle united' 10 months ago
The Best fans in the world left the group 'we love newcastle united' 21 days Ago

Sir Alex Ferguson sent an invitation using Causes:
Support my cause, Bring Back Mike Riley. Help by joining, donating, or inviting your friends!

You have poked Cristiano Roanldo
Cristiano Ronaldo has fallen down (ROFLMAO)

HAHAHA ^ All good ones!

Haha i really like those facebook ones!

Peter Crouch has painted his room red (2 years ago)
Peter Crouch has painted his room blue (1 year ago)
Peter Crouch has painted his room white (10hours ago)
Peter crouch has baught maroon paint for next year.(9hours 59 ago)

Dimitar Berbatov scored 0 in penalty kick challenge
Everton fan club like this

haha all good again!

Lmaooo!!!