I just tell people i know lord wood.!!

Go up to a girl and say:

"Do You Sleep on your front?" If they say no then say:

"Mind if I do?"

I have a magic watch that tells me what colour panties ur wearing....*look at watch* oh! Your not wearing any!
Yes i am
Hang on, its 10 minutes fast

If i got you into my bed even a mouse wouldnt be able to squeek as fast as the springs

Hey baby what you cooking for me in the morning?
Nothing
Good, we'll have a lie in

Don't tell anyone, but I'm secretly Sonny Bill Williams in disguise...


My God he is such a tank, big man crush on him!!

HAHA Woody! Them are good lines love the first 1!!!!

'Do you have sex on your first date?'

Girl: 'No'

'Can we pretend it's the second?'

Do you encourage terrorism? Because you make my package explode!

as a mathematician:

Is that a casio fx-991ms in my pocket or am i just pleased to see you?

Can i differentiate you because I would love to analyse your curves?

You are better than all my ex-girlfriends because they were like the square root of -1 (imaginary).

Would you like to see what power of e makes me me? (translate as would you like to see my natural log).

and my personal favourite...

How can I know so many digits of pi and not the digits of your phone number?

^^
Have any of those ever worked ??

i can't say i've ever tried them... was hoping someone else might.

LOL

I think the 2nd and the last one are most likely to work

I will try these in the next few days. I will keep you posted!

Try mine too damee

Go on damee if anyone can make them work you can

EPIC FAIL!!!!!

Adam just for you I tried as I like the last 1 but it was unsucessful!

It turns out you need to ask somebody who knows what pi is before you try to use it haha

I thought that that pre-requisite was obvious...

Try this one instead si:


I can work out the square root of any number in less than 10 seconds. What? You don't believe me? Well, let's try it with your phone number.

I'll have to write that 1 down to remember it Adam haha it's abit longer than my usual ones! It probably won't work but can always try

In a nightclub just do this:

Walk upto them hold their hand and start dancing they'll let you know if they don't want to

But the best ones are the ones that require no thought just straight of the top of your head for example the girls who sell shots in Nightclubs:

'Would you like buy a shot for £1'

'No, How about I buy you a drink tomorrow night instead?'

Except that now you have said that, no-one else can use it as "off the top of their head" . Thanks for ruining that for us all . haha.

haha make it look spontanius