...
His forehead is all battered and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"


With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was...

CELEB R ATE!!!"

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit-bull on a leash. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog.

"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single file. Whose funeral is it?

The man replied, "Well, the first hearse is for my wife"

"What happened to her?"

The man replied " My dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The man answered "My Mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.




"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Join the queue!"

Edited at 12:03 Thu 12/07/07 (BST)

Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after its been eaten !!.....Its called a Wedding Cake !!

I went to the doctors the other day and said

"I've broke my arm in several places"

He Said " Well dont go to those places"

After a heavy night's drinking, two Irishmen stagger home from their country pub, intending to take a short cut through the graveyard. Being much the worse for wear, they decide to take a rest against a stone, where Paddy reads the inscription.
"Do y'know, Michael, this fella here lived till he was 103!!"
"And did he come from hereabouts then?" asks Michael.
"No," says Paddy, reading the stone, "he was Miles, from Dublin"

Once upon a time the was a girl called Rindercella who had two Sugly isters........

Nopeee, better not tell that one

Q: Whats Red and lies in the gutter ???

A: A dead Bus

LMAOOO

ih i dont get it how are buses red lol

london buses are red (i think)

the funeral one and the monk one are good

I had an accident going to work the other day, I ran straight into the back of another car.


The driver got out and he was a dwarf, he said "I'm not happy !!"


I said "So which one are you then?"

i nooooo how to annoy stella

i did this one on sam but ill use it again ready?!

Paula walks into a bar! OUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH lmaooooooooo hahaha (did i annoy ya)




im sorry paula (ish)

LIVERPOOL F.C (is that a good joke

no!

this is tho

David Moyes

lol oi

Q: What kind of bees give milk?
A: Boo-bees.

A TESCO delivery van crashed into a minibus full of GEORDIES today, there were no survivors! TESCO every little helps

lmao

Post removed by forum moderator

i dont join in because i can't be bothered going on google and copying and pasting like you probably did, i was just appreciating one of the jokes

Edited at 22:55 Tue 17/07/07 (BST)