i now pronounce you erm husband
worlds worst funkysnooker player

"For God sake!!!"

We're on O btw sean...

Worlds worst operah coach

"so i will just put this 50 cent cd in and we will sing along, ok?"

worlds worst party planner

"Right, what we're gona do for your 18th is go for a game of crown green bowls, then head down the theatre, where we will have a glass of sherie, ok?

Worlds worst QVC product?

"And now a world first...an opener which opens up our own packaging!"

Worlds worst rally driver

cross post

"hi im richard hammond"

worlds worst school teacher

Edited at 23:41 Sun 13/07/08 (BST)

Not very good at this one damee !

" And in todays lesson we'll be learning how to counterfeit money "

Worlds Worst Undercover Cop

I no im useless at it but i can keep trying

" Oops, ive forgot my police radio, back in half an hour! "

(god i really am crap at this )

Worlds worst ventriloquist

Actually that wasn't too bad mate

"At least you can't see the dummy's lips move..."

Worlds Worst Waiter

" DO you want food with your order ? "

Worlds Worst X-ray Doc

"I think I set the strength too high. I can't see what's wrong with you, but your wife is reading your will in the next room!"

Worlds Worst Yearly Appraisal

Edit - forgot it was Y not Z

Edited at 12:20 Mon 14/07/08 (BST)

your doing amazingly well.. you can now spell do..
worlds worst zoo keeper

"Oops i think i've killed that stripy horse thingy"

Worlds worst acrabat coach

"Don't worry, it's a risky move, but the worst you can do is only breaking your back."

Worlds worst Barman

"Ok, heres your double vodka but the great thing is i only charge you for a treble"

worlds worst car salesman

"And this is the peugeot 1007, recently voted worlds worst car, interested??

Worlds Worst doorman

"Cant ya read? Says youve got to be 21 to get in....you look older... GET OUT!"


W W Enterainter

"Hi, my name is Jimmy Carr....."


Worlds Worst flamethrower

"...and this model has a built in fire extinguisher."

Worlds Worst Giant

"Im scared of heights"

Worlds worst hostage