The Official Jokes Thread
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06:02 Tue 31 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
Man falls downstairs, falls awkwardly and ends up with the handle of a Dyson hoover stuck up his (_x_), a spokesman said at the hospital an hour later, he's ok and he's picking up nicely
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06:34 Tue 31 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
Lmfao Stell!!!!!!
Little jokes please me more!!!!!!
lol how funny!!!!
Little jokes please me more!!!!!!
lol how funny!!!!
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07:31 Tue 31 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
HA! I Told ya the lil ones are better (STS)
drunk_mate said:
Lmfao Stell!!!!!!
Little jokes please me more!!!!!!
Little jokes please me more!!!!!!
HA! I Told ya the lil ones are better (STS)
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10:17 Tue 31 Jul 07 (BST) [Link]
Woman gets naked & asks her hubby " What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body"?
Hubby looks her up and down and says "Your bloody sense of humour"
Hubby looks her up and down and says "Your bloody sense of humour"
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13:35 Wed 1 Aug 07 (BST) [Link]
Another gem from the FP vaults........
A Rich bloke from Barnsley, goes to the Jewellers and says "can tha mek us a gold statue of me dog"?
Jeweller said " Does tha wnt it 18 Carat"
Bloke says " NO, chewing a bone, ya daft git"
Edited by forum moderator farren, at 19:50 Sat 4/08/07 (BST)
A Rich bloke from Barnsley, goes to the Jewellers and says "can tha mek us a gold statue of me dog"?
Jeweller said " Does tha wnt it 18 Carat"
Bloke says " NO, chewing a bone, ya daft git"
Edited by forum moderator farren, at 19:50 Sat 4/08/07 (BST)
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03:49 Thu 2 Aug 07 (BST) [Link]
Lmao!!!!!!
(IM PMFSL!)
Edited by forum moderator farren, at 19:50 Sat 4/08/07 (BST)
stella_man said:
Another gem from the FP vaults........
A Rich bloke from Barnsley, goes to the Jewellers and says "can tha mek us a gold statue of me dog"?
Jeweller said " Does tha wnt it 18 Carat"
Bloke says " NO, chewing a bone, ya daft git"
A Rich bloke from Barnsley, goes to the Jewellers and says "can tha mek us a gold statue of me dog"?
Jeweller said " Does tha wnt it 18 Carat"
Bloke says " NO, chewing a bone, ya daft git"
Lmao!!!!!!
(IM PMFSL!)
Edited by forum moderator farren, at 19:50 Sat 4/08/07 (BST)
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16:11 Thu 2 Aug 07 (BST) [Link]
The solicitor was nervous about being in prison because his cellmate looked like a real thug. "Don't worry," the gruff looking fellow said, "I'm in here for a white collar crime too."
"Well, that's a relief," sighed the solicitor. "I was sent to prison for accepting bribes."
"Oh nothing fancy like that for me," grinned the convict. "I just murdered a couple of priests."
"Well, that's a relief," sighed the solicitor. "I was sent to prison for accepting bribes."
"Oh nothing fancy like that for me," grinned the convict. "I just murdered a couple of priests."
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16:14 Thu 2 Aug 07 (BST) [Link]
What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
A Golden Retriever.
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05:03 Fri 3 Aug 07 (BST) [Link]
A woman standing in front of a mirror turns to her husband and says,
"honey, look at me, my boobs are sagging, my bum is getting bigger, im starting to get wrinkes, ive got fat thighs. Please say something complimentary about me"
He husband turns round and says......
" your bloody eyesight is spot on "
"honey, look at me, my boobs are sagging, my bum is getting bigger, im starting to get wrinkes, ive got fat thighs. Please say something complimentary about me"
He husband turns round and says......
" your bloody eyesight is spot on "
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11:04 Sat 4 Aug 07 (BST) [Link]
A small boy was crying his eyes out at a football match. Seeing his plight, a
policeman came up to him and asked what the problem was.
"I've lost my dad," cried the boy. "What's he like?" asked the policeman.
"Beer, fags and women," said the boy.
policeman came up to him and asked what the problem was.
"I've lost my dad," cried the boy. "What's he like?" asked the policeman.
"Beer, fags and women," said the boy.
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11:08 Sat 4 Aug 07 (BST) [Link]
Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: She is expecting triplets.
Very bad: You were sterilized five years ago.
Good: You are explaining to your daughter about birds and bees.
Bad: She interrupts you.
Very bad: And corrects you.
Bad: She is expecting triplets.
Very bad: You were sterilized five years ago.
Good: You are explaining to your daughter about birds and bees.
Bad: She interrupts you.
Very bad: And corrects you.
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The Official Jokes Thread
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