Wanna hear a dirty joke?
A little boy falls into the mud

Wanna hear a clean joke?
He takes a bath with bubbles

Wanna hear a dirty joke?
Bubbles is Michael Jackson

Q. Why don't they have any toilet paper in KFC?
A. Because its finger licking good!



(*Sorry... This one was not appropriate*)



Q: What do you do when your wife's staggering?
A: Shoot her again.

Q: What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
A: Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!

Did you hear about the new French tank?
Yeah, It has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes foreward incase the enemy attacks from behind.

Edited by forum moderator luckypot, at 22:23 Wed 7/11/07 (GMT)

Ha! Lmao!

Three construction workers are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished building. The italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says "Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!" The chinese opens his lunch box to find rice and says "Man, if I get rice one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!" The blonde opens his lunch box to find a cheeseburger and says" Man, if I get a cheeseburger one more time im going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"

So the next day they all got the same thing and they jumped off the building to their death. That weekend at the funeral, the italian and the chinese wives are crying and saying "I would have fixed him something else for lunch but he never told me." And as the two wives stare at the blondes wife, they both ask why she isn't sad about her husbands death, the blonde replys "Don't look at me, he packs his own lunch."

OH my Gavin!


Where are you getting this from?


Your searching arent ya!

One day, a blonde goes into a store. She gets an item and walks up to the cashier. She says,"I'd like to buy this TV".

He says,"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes".

The next day, she dyes her hair red and goes back in the store, but the same thing happens.

Finally, she shaves her head and goes back in. When she tries to buy it for the third time, the man refuses.

She says, "How the hell do you know I'm blonde?".

He replied, "First of all, that's a microwave."

Q .. What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A .. Change.

Q .. How do blonde braincells die?
A .. Alone.

Q .. How do you confuse a blonde?
A .. You don't. They're born that way.

Q .. Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven?
A .. She didn't know what number came first.

and no i am not searching!!!

Edited at 22:10 Tue 6/11/07 (GMT)

lmao! hahahahA!



Right gaving im off to bed mate, do some more tomorrow for me! they were brill!

yeah sure m8 no worries. cya l8r.

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he
called his lawyer. "I want to become a lawyer. How much is
it or the express degree you told me about?"

"It's $50,000," the lawyer said. "But why? You'll be dead soon,
why do you want to become a lawyer?"

"That's my business! Get me the course!"

Four days later, the old man got his law degree. His lawyer
was at his bedside, making sure his bill would be paid.

Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing and
it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the
lawyer leaned over and said, "please, before it's too late,
tell me why you wanted to to get a law degree so badly before
you died?"

In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said,
"One less lawyer . . ."

LMAOOOOOOOOOO @ Them

Hahahahahahahaha!

virtuoso107... first post previous page... exact same joke you just put down was posted by me

o/j.

Q: I have hair on by base... i am 6 inches long... when i go in and out, white foam comes out... what am i?

A: A toothbrush.


A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.

"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.

He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.

"Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home."

The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.

"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.

"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly.

"How did you know?"

"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."

ooopssssorry!
so you are browsing the internet then

actually... my mum told me the joke 3 days ago and had it on paper.

'Q: I have hair on by base... i am 6 inches long... when i go in and out, white foam comes out... what am i?

A: A toothbrush'

LOL - Like that one.

thanks

Why do you live like a NUN after you get married?

NUN in the morning, NUN in the afternoon, NUN in the evening, NUN what so ever!

What do you call Batman and Robin run over?

Flatman and Ribbon.

lmao! classic

lol funny that

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I'll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby. "I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. "What did the doctor say?" the victim cries. "He says you're gonna die."