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The Official Jokes Thread

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jagz_sik_pot
jagz_sik_pot
Posts: 48
05:23 Sun 31 Aug 08 (BST)  [Link]  
buddytobud said:
This one came up on joke of the day and made me laugh....if only

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"

The father, having never seen an elevator, responded, "I have no idea what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.

The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."


BRILLIANT!!! LOL
Deleted User
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09:14 Sun 31 Aug 08 (BST)  [Link]  
A lady golfer is stung by a wasp.

She goes to look for the greenkeeper and finds him.

"I've been stung by a wasp" She says.
" Where did it get you?" He replies
"Between the 1st and 2nd hole" She said
He said"Madam I think your stance must be a little too wide"

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO
mrmagic
mrmagic
Admin
Posts: 3,079
10:23 Sun 31 Aug 08 (BST)  [Link]  
PMSL at that!!!!^^

Deleted User
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17:11 Sat 27 Sep 08 (BST)  [Link]  
englishman walks into a bar with a budgie on his shoulder

bartender: where'd you get that?

budgie: down the highstreet they're all over the place

hahahahahaha
Deleted User
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03:52 Sun 28 Sep 08 (BST)  [Link]  
dont get it
justsumgirl
justsumgirl
Posts: 7,356
06:04 Sun 28 Sep 08 (BST)  [Link]  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Deleted User
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06:32 Sun 28 Sep 08 (BST)  [Link]  
Paula.


































































funny eh?
Deleted User
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10:40 Thu 30 Oct 08 (GMT)  [Link]  
Fish and a piano

Q. What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
A. You can't tuna fish.

Deleted User
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12:12 Thu 30 Oct 08 (GMT)  [Link]  
here's a couple of "non-jokes"

a man walks into a bar - he is an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family.

another

knock, knock
"who's there?"

"its the police, your husband has died in an accident. we need you to come and identify the body."
Deleted User
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17:39 Wed 19 Nov 08 (GMT)  [Link]  
Not exactly appropriate!

Edited by forum moderator virtuoso107, at 16:23 Fri 6/02/09 (GMT)
Deleted User
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09:29 Thu 20 Nov 08 (GMT)  [Link]  
Lol thats exactly wot my bf sed when it was announced he was the new president lol
ronaldo09
ronaldo09
Posts: 12
02:02 Wed 3 Dec 08 (GMT)  [Link]  
Post removed by forum moderator
Deleted User
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16:59 Wed 7 Jan 09 (GMT)  [Link]  
john travoltas son died last friday, so the doctors have ruled out saturday night fever !!!
Deleted User
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12:48 Tue 27 Jan 09 (GMT)  [Link]  
The American secret agency are having real problems with the new president, everytime they shout GET DOWN, he gets up and starts to dance !!!!
kapow
kapow
Posts: 75
22:15 Sat 31 Jan 09 (GMT)  [Link]  
what did the, what did the 5 fingers, say to the, say to the face



SLAPPPPP!!!!
Deleted User
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09:54 Fri 6 Feb 09 (GMT)  [Link]  
i quit my job at the helium factory.....Im not having them talk to me like that

My vodka diet seems to be working..... i lost 3 days last week

A blonde was caught speeding by the police the other day. They said "can we see your licence please"...She replied " Whats wrong with you guys , yesterday you take away my licence and now you want me to show you it!
Deleted User
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01:33 Fri 13 Feb 09 (GMT)  [Link]  
An oldie but goodie

A policeman pulls a driver over for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer.

"I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."

"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station."

"Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."

"Alright, we could get a blood sample."

"Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."

"Fine then, just walk this white line."

"Can't do that either, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."
Deleted User
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02:17 Fri 13 Feb 09 (GMT)  [Link]  
lol buddy
Deleted User
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10:10 Mon 16 Feb 09 (GMT)  [Link]  
Lol Buddy, is the guy blonde by any chance
Deleted User
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10:46 Mon 16 Feb 09 (GMT)  [Link]  
Diarrhoea is hereditary, because it runs in your jeans (genes)
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The Official Jokes Thread

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