lmao awesome

Just for this page. Cheers Lee.

PMSL!!

was just looking on ebay, i seen a trophy cabinet, bought new, unused for for 4 years

the seller was arsene wenger

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:O pmsl dow

HAHA!

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Hey guys please can you remember that this is a friendly family site.So please keep the jokes clean.

Thankyou

there are 3 girls at the bottom of the staircase to heaven. 1 is a ginger, 1 is a brunette and 1 is a blonde. To get to heaven god must tell them 100 jokes and if they laugh at any 1 of the jokes they go 2 hell. The ginger and Brunnette fail on the 1st step so they go to hell. The blonde gets to the 100th step and before god tels the joke, she start laughing. God says " Why are you laughing, i haven't even told the joke yet ?? "
The blonde says " i know - but ive just got the 1st joke !!!! "

Courtesy of my frend Tim

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you

HAHA @ above two

Scotsman and an English woman on the dance floor, the english woman says to the the Scotsman of whom is wearing a kilt, "I hear you scots don't wear underwear when you wearing those kilts"

so the Scotsman says "why don't you put your hand underneath and check!"

so she does and replies "that's gruesome!!!"

the Scotsman replies, "why don't you put your hand in the again? Its gruesome more!"

two sausages sat in a pan. 1 says "god isnt it hot in here" the other turns round and says "ooooo look a talking sausage

a chicken and an egg are lying in bed, the looks disappointed, the chicken turns to the egg with a big smile and says "guess we answered that question"

beckham ronaldinho and ronaldo are at the gates of heaven and st peter says to ronaldinho 'y do u think u shud got to heaven?' and ronny says 'ive entertained the world and played with a smile at all times even if it is buck toothed' and peter says' u may enter' then he asks ronaldo the same thing and ronaldo says 'ive brung joy to many and have been utterly proffesional despite my spitting and winking' and peter says' go to hell and ronaldo falls thru a trapdoor to hell peter then says to beckham 'hey i spose u want ur ball back!!!' (referring to his dreadful penalty against portugal)

Lol good 1 tag team

haha!!!!! those last three were classics

Three golfing buddies died in an auto accident and went to heaven. Upon arrival, they noticed the most beautiful golf course they have ever seen. St. Peter told them they were welcome to play the course, but he cautioned them with one rule: “Don’t step on the ducks.”

The men had blank expressions on their faces, and finally one of them said, “The ducks?” “Yes,” St. Peter Said. “There are millions of ducks walking around the golf course, and when one of them is stepped on, he squawks, and then the one next to him squawks, and soon they’re all raising hell and it really breaks the tranquility. If you step on the ducks, you’ll be punished.”

The men start playing the course, and within 15 minutes, one of the guys stepped on a duck. The duck squawked, and soon there was a deafening roar of ducks quacking. St. Peter appeared with an extremely homely woman and asked, “Who stepped on a duck?” “I did,” admitted one of the men. St. Peter immediately pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the man to the homely woman. “I told you not to step on the ducks,” he said. “Now you’ll be handcuffed together for eternity.”

Continued

The two other men were very cautious not to step on any ducks, but a couple of weeks later, one of them accidentally did. The quacks were as deafening as before, and within minutes, St. Peter walked up with a woman who was even uglier than the other one. He determined who stepped on the duck by seeing the fear in the man’s face, and he cuffed him to the woman. “I told you not to step on the ducks,” St. Peter said. “Now you’ll be handcuffed together for eternity.”

The third man was extremely careful. Some days he wouldn’t even move for fear of nudging a duck. After three months of this, he still hadn’t stepped on a duck. St. Peter walked up to the man and had with him the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. St. Peter smiled and without a word, handcuffed him to the beautiful woman and walked off.

The man, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman for eternity, let out a sigh and said, “What have I done to deserve this?” The woman replied: “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck.”